Look after yourself
Everybody needs a break sometimes. Taking time to rest and recuperate can be extremely beneficial and even help you provide better care. However, we recognise that this is often easier said than done or, at times, impossible. Based on our work with family carers and carer advocacy organisations around the world, we’ve pulled together some tips on how you can best look after yourself while caring for those you hold dear.
Carve out some ‘me’ time
Your mental and physical health is important not only for the loved ones you care for but, first and foremost, for yourself. Many feel the need to appear strong and keep things bottled up inside, but you shouldn’t feel concerned about showing that you too may need help and support. Taking care of your health and wellbeing will reflect in the care you provide others: you can only provide care to your best ability if you are also caring for yourself.
Every carer needs their own personal time to rest and recharge because at the end of the day, your well-being deserves attention too. Try to set aside some time for yourself each day to relax, reflect and recenter. However, we understand that sometimes there simply isn’t enough time in the day. Look for the “in-between moments” to take a moment for yourself, even if it’s only five minutes. These micro-breaks are just as valuable to your health and mental well-being. Just as fatigue has a cumulative effect, so can moments of quiet and rest.
Crucially, don’t feel guilty when you take some time for yourself.
If you need to take a step back, reach out to your support network. Ask if they can take on one of your tasks – be it errands, calling the doctor, taking care of mealtime or cleaning – to free up some time for yourself. It can be difficult to make that ask, and some carers even feel that they are neglecting their responsibilities. However, pushing yourself beyond your limits will only lead to burnout. At the end of the day, you are a person outside of your caring responsibilities, and that person deserves time and recognition.
Be Active
We know that having good mental and physical health as a carer is key to performing a multitude of caring duties. It is easier said than done, but you may need to ask for help to ensure you are healthy and don’t let yourself get to a breaking point.
Physical activity is a great way to de-stress and take a moment to breathe. You can try going to the gym, taking a long walk or bicycle ride – any activity you enjoy at least once a week, creating a space where caring for yourself is the focus.
If it is hard to find the time, consider a ten-minute yoga routine on your smartphone or meditate with your headphones on while sitting in the doctor’s lounge – an excellent “in-between moment” to use to your advantage.
It might not seem like much, but even small amounts of physical activity can be important in reducing stress. You don’t need to run a marathon. Take five minutes and get some fresh air.
Prioritise your physical and mental health
While you are likely a pro at navigating healthcare spaces, many carers report putting off their own healthcare appointments. Remember, you are human too. Treat your own health with the same respect and love you treat that of your loved ones. Bundling tasks can help work as a reminder and habit builder. If you can, try to schedule your own appointments while scheduling those for the person you are caring for.
When it comes to your mental health, know that you are not alone. While caring is immensely rewarding and meaningful, it can also be time consuming, emotionally challenging and, at times, isolating. Do not be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional, even if you feel like you can cope on your own. There is nothing weak or shameful about needing help; looking after your mental health is one of the best things you can do for yourself as a carer. Do not wait until you are in crisis to reach out – much like with physical health, preventative measures are key in maintaining your well-being.
Feeling isolated
When Hazel was diagnosed with cancer two years into retirement, her husband John became her carer — and learned how isolating and all-consuming that role can be. In their story, John shares how talking openly and slowly returning to what they loved, like getting back on their bikes together, helped them through the hardest moments — a moving reminder that carers don’t have to face it alone.
Change the way you use social media
Scrolling through our social media feed is the easiest way to kill time or take a break from reality. While these picture-perfect ‘best life’ snapshots and moments in time can provide a temporary escape, they show a distorted version of reality, resulting in unfair comparisons which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Stop doom scrolling and rethink the way you use your feed. Social media can be a great place to find helpful resources, connect with others who have similar stories and experiences and find needed inspiration. Curate your feed to serve as a safe space.
All social feeds feature the mute option for both posts and stories.
Ask for help
Asking for help can be very hard, and many may feel like it’s an admission of failure. Asking for and taking up the offer of help is not a weakness – it’s actually a strength.
“Admitting that we need help as carers can be hard because we don’t want to feel like we’re in over our heads,” says Embracing Carers® ambassador Jon Strum. “But trying to do it all yourself will quickly lead to burnout. If I could offer one piece of advice for carers in the new year, it would be this: learn how to ask for the help you need and learn how to be comfortable with accepting it.”
GL-NONPR-00306 [September 2022]